Just checking we are all still here and the darkness has not descended

Just checking we are all still here and the darkness has not descended


This is now THE STORM (version 100 or whatever they are on) MASTER THREAD: ​ Weather in my neck of the woods is 60 and overcast, Internet, TV, power, and everything are still going great, though I wish they weren't so expensive! ​ ETA: QAnon snark your hearts out in this post, just no threatening violence of any kind and no bigotry, ty!


They've been predicting 10 days of darkness for like 8 months now.


Herb Scaifer: Frankly, Leslie, I'm shocked. All the scholarly work that I did on these texts indicated that the world would end. Leslie Knope: Oh, gosh, I'm as disappointed as you are, Herb. Herb: Yeah, but when the world did not end, I went home and began to reevaluate the texts. Leslie: You don't say. Herb: And I realized that I'd made some crucial errors. Leslie: Well, math is hard. Herb: Yes, well, the actual end of the world is six months from now. Leslie: Great! Herb: Yeah. May 19th. Leslie: Okay, let's see what we've got. Um, oh, on the 19th we can't give you the park. We have a spring spectacular free ice cream giveaway. Herb: Oh... Oh... look here. Heh! I misspoke. Yeah, it's May 20? Leslie: That is free. Herb: Ah! Leslie: Okay. End of World, May 20th. Herb: That's great. Uhm... Oh, and could you put aside 10 tickets for that ice cream thing? Leslie: Already did.


Tonight, the followers of Reasonableism will be joining together to await the return of Zorp, the giant lizard God who will destroy the earth with his cleansing fire of judgment.


Does Zorp come as a manifestation of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man? If so, at least I will go with a smile on my face.


‘cleansing fire of judgment’ that is fukkin hilarious, I just sprayed coffee out of my nose... Thanks for the laugh!


You too will change form! To that of a fleshless chattering skeleton, when Zorp The Surveyor burns your flesh off with his volcano mouth!


I'd say, "haha, r/unexpectedpawnee !" except this is what I *keep* thinking of with all this Qanon shit so it is very much expected at this point 😆 All hail Zorp the Surveyor


I didn't know this sub existed, but I definitely needed it.


>Zorp the Surveyor Now I have to watch another series I didn't bother with BC I was stupid. thank you and all hail Zorp.


You're in for a very fun time :)


You will not regret it, give it until the second season and you’ll be hooked. That show is hysterical and just absurd enough to be a believable reality. They have child sized sodas…. Like the size of a small toddler.


That would have been funnier if the 19th and 20th were reversed, so Herb would be asking for tickets for *the day after his predicted end of the world.*


It's actually been for years now in the conspiracy communities. Several years ago it was only 3 days of darkness that was going to occur but somebody in the Q community decided to make it 10 days.


The three days of darkness was related to the poles shifting due to planet x passing too close to the earth. Source: i used to eat this stuff up


Thank you for coming back. No longer being in that means you aren't sending that stuff out into the universe.


I remember going hard on the Planet X fear porn before 2012 deep into David wilcock (fucking hooligan). I still enjoy graham handock though. Anyway, Planet X never came and I realized that this end of the world bullshit won’t come to fruition from some dark force we can’t see beyond the galaxy. I started focusing on real world problems within my control (climate change, environmental sustainability). A lot of these conspiracies create a lot of panic but no one actually does anything.


>A lot of these conspiracies create a lot of panic but no one actually does anything. In a nutshell, you have nailed it. Fear is the key, allay it and they start to see reality a bit better. Thanks.


This is exactly what happened to me. I got jaded and realized how much thought I'd wasted on something, and decided not to worry about stuff like that that can't be verified or is beyond my control.


Exactly and my brother is hard on the polar reversal one now and I can imagine how stressful that is all the time worrying about it


hence why a witty soul on here the other day called it '10 days of derpness' LOL


We've been in the depths of that far longer than 10 days, sadly.


If you count Trump as president, we had like 5 years of darkness.


Trump's admin lasted centuries, fuck...


An entire Dark Ages.




...and it felt longer than that.


Actually they’ve been predicting it for years. Sad deluded fools.


Moving the goal posts, as always.


Georgia checking in. I had to go to work this morning so no blackout for me. Unless we’re talking about the blackout drunk I’m getting tonight! (High five!)


Georgia here, too! I was scared when I went to work the blackout started, but then I remembered I work at 5am! Phew!


Georgia here too! Sitting in a car dealership working (and looking at Reddit lol). Lights are on, what a relief 🙄


I have to wait for Saturday to do that.


Yup, still here but I'm stocked up for the Ten Days of Darkness with (*checks fridge*) one frozen pizza. I'm gonna be just fine.


Reminds me of the time we had a few trees come down in a big storm and knocked out power. Power company is telling us we will be without service for several days. The wife runs out to the store to pick up some rations to get us through since our stove is electric... she comes back with a bag full of microwave dinners. Ugh, I love her dearly


Reminds me of the time I used a flashlight to look for an outlet so I could plug in the mixer.....ended with actual rolling on the floor laughing (in the dark).


Gotta have those frozen margaritas .


We had a similar thing where the power went out and my wife was like, "it'll be fine the kids can just watch netflix on their ipads"... Now if you have a 4/5g ipad you can totally watch netflix when the power is out. We do not, we have wifi lol.


This is why you should always have some offline media.


Power outages mean boardgames by candlelight!


You could even throw a ouija board in with them. The mood's already there!


But I can't figure out how to charge this book I bought....




Wait, it's only **ten** days of darkness? Ha! I actually can survive that. I'll get tired of canned soups and canned meats, but that's okay. If the pandemic taught me anything, it's how easily the supply chain is disrupted, and how much a run on the stores can diminish the local supply of anything. Besides I live in earthquake country. So yes I do keep a minor survivalist stash.


Texas here. Been there done that during the cold snap.


Never a bad idea to have a survival stash on hand for a variety of reasons, natural disaster being the most obvious. I've got a backpack with enough to feed me and the family (four people total) for a month with emergency rations that taste like charred lemon but provide every nutrient you need and 2000 calories a day. The only kinda-issue is water, there's enough water packets to last about ten days, then there's a dozen emergency straws that filter from any source. I by no means think there will be a situation that will need that level of preparedness, especially since we generally have a fully stocked pantry, but it's for peace of mind.


Not if you keep your frozen pizza in the fridge, you're not. I'm starting to think you're not taking this seriously *at all*.




Thanks for the morning laughter. Cheers


Oops, I ate my frozen pizza last night I guess I'm... Well, I guess I'll be fine.


Did you at least cook it first?


You cook your frozen pizza? I thought it was just a big pizza ice cream disk.


Cooking pizza is just a conspiracy by Big Power to make you waste electricity.


I’ve got a shed full of canned goods, and an electric can opene... shit, wait...


Canada here. No problem with the 10 days of darkness. Since I got the Pfizer shot I light up when I pass 5G towers.


Moderna here. All it does is dial Bill Gates (pre-divorce filing) cell number. So I get nothin' for my microchip. The first booster shot is supposed to include an update with his new number. But I think I have to restart my arm three times before it will use the new data.


Maybe if you take your arm off, blow in it, and then reattach?


You've been doing this a long time. Respect.


All else fails, just get a Q--tip with some rubbing alcohol on the end to clean it.


I just got my second Moderna yesterday afternoon. It’s still his old number. Nurses said no more updates to the chip.


I dunno, I got my second moderna and I am FUCKED today. Might mean we’re receiving an update. We might be getting his new number. (My body hates getting vaccines, I had really rough side effects from a tetanus shot too.)


That happened to me too. You should feel fine tonight or tomorrow morning. I suggest going back to bed.


Use the Vulcan Nerve Grip (Alt-Ctrl-Delete) to restart your arm. As with everything, turning it off and turning it on works.


I am in the middle of a re-watch of ST Enterprise. Don't know why I didn't think of that! It's so obvious.


Be careful with the update, those usually cause problems


Exactly. I hate updates.


I was holding out for the chip from Steve Jobs ghost since Apple updates tend to be a bit better (and I like their privacy options recently) but he seems to be slacking (probably still working with Ghost Hugo Chavez on the election rigging) so I settled for the Gates one. I do hope Melinda gets me in the divorce tho.


Ghosts? Everyone knows those are not real, silly. I think you mean clones or holograms! Or actors.


Hey so me and my buddy were talking, and we were wondering what will happen now that Bill and Melinda are getting a divorce. Like, who gets control of what microchips? Is it gonna be like a joint custody kinda thing, you know like Bill gets us on nights after 9 and free weekends? Are they splitting us up so some get to go with mom and some get to go with dad? Or was Bill smart enough to have a prenup and he gets to keep us all? I need answers, I just got my second shot and I'm not sure whats going to happen.


AstraZeneca here. I think about a text I want to send someone and it does it for me. This is like proper, proper hands free. I’m impressed!!!


This is a selling point for me. I for one welcome our new cyborgified ~~overlords~~ normal.


I wish it had made my reception better.


I don’t know about you, but my 5G is strong now! I can make a call from a canyon! No drop outs. “Can you hear me?” “Of course! Thanks Pfizer!”


I woke up to all of my fridge magnets stuck to my arm.


That can't be cheap, I heard cigs in Canada are expensive AF.


Ooh sounds like your microchip has been activated! Just got Moderna on Tuesday and now that I’m recovered I need to go for a drive to see if the trackers are active yet.


I got the J&J shot, so burst into flames whenever I pass one :(


Maaan, you all got the good microchips. I think they cheaped out on ours; all I got was the same one they put in my cat. The good news is, if either of us go roaming, they'll make sure we get home again.


Apparently I missed that email. Thanks for the heads up! 😂 All is well in South Carolina!


It’s been 6 hours since this comment. Everything has change. the darkness is here. What I mean is, I’ve had to go down to the basement to grab a screwdriver. It’s dark as shit down here, I need a new lightbulb.


Lightbulb went out in my refrigerator, Q was right.


It’s chaos here in Ohio. The sky is full of fire and there is a horrendous racket in the trees... Wait, it’s just the sun and birds. Carry on.


> *there is a horrendous racket in the trees...* Damn cicadas!


'Sky's on fire and there's nobody at the wheel. And the streets are muddied with a thousand lonely suicides; and a dark wind blows'


I'm in New Zealand so the 13th is almost done for us. No darkness yet (apart from the normal nightime that is 😂)


Yeh Australia here, and it's dark! 11pm though. Time to panic...?


Im thinking the same at midnight in North Queensland. Its rather dark but I still have Internet and AC so I'm cool with that.


I always wonder about this. "The world will end on May 13th!" "Cool, but in which time zone?"


I'm an aussie and we come from the future.


The earth is flat and time zones aren't real. So, the answer to your question is: yes.


I was thinking the same. Surely May 13 is already over in Asia by now.


Up and running here in Northern CA. Just about to nuke some pizza rolls.


Southern California reporting in...I didn't put enough creamer in my coffee this morning, but I mean...at least the Keurig worked?


Texas here. My Keurig is broken, but that's not new. My overhead light is turned off right now, so kinda dark, kinda spooky. My PS3 just fired itself up for an update though. I think we're going to make it. Oh wait, no, there's a firing squad in my front yard.


Run! If you can make it West, we have safe haven for you…for now…


My Q friend was wailing at me that "the sky is filling with smoke! I told you!" Bitch we live in SoCal. It's a damn wildfire. It's May this should not be a surprise to someone living here for over a decade now.


They must have mistakenly sent their Q-vibes to Taiwan, where an accident at a power plant has caused outages in some areas while the problem is being fixed. But much of Taiwan is still powered.


all good in Maryland. Maybe the only states in complete darkness are the Red states. It seems very Trump like to screw over his support.


Idaho here...just about the reddest state there is. While our state legislature is perpetually attempting to turn back the clock to 1898, we do still have power, running water, and a population that mostly wants this all to be real. Disappointment and confusion running high in the Spud State today.


In Trumps defense, more and more they seem quite willing and able to screw each other as well as us. They don't need Ol' Orange Shit-Stain to wreck $#!t no more.


Whelp, all is well in South Carolina.


Oklahoma here. Not a single county voted for Biden. It doesn’t get redder than that. We have power and all utilities. I am so disappointed.


No darkness in NC, but we are having a gas shortage due to a ransom ware attack on a pipeline a couple days ago, so I’m sure the Q’s are all over that.


> No darkness in NC, but we are having a gas shortage due to ~~a ransom ware attack on a pipeline a couple days ago~~ panic buying Fixed it for you.


I wouldn't mind some darkness here is Arizona. That sun gets obnoxious 😣


Checking in from Baltimore, only an hour from DC. I stepped in dog shit this morning. I blamed the deep state and then took my kid to preschool.


That stinks. ​ I'll be here all week.


I’m insulated from the apparently upcoming great event by the small matter of being on the other side of the Atlantic. What’s their excuse this time?


They don’t have one. Too busy hot gluing wheels onto the goalposts.


Does anyone know why they think today is the day? If q hasn’t spoke in several months who’s setting the goalposts now?


They are in their usual operating mode. Everyone throws as much bullshit and craziness on the wall as possible and whatever sticks is the new canon. 7d chess ! Same tactic as with every cult.doomsday and redemption need to be close to keep the cycle of anger going


Oh man, this guy I knew from highschool and thought was less than braindead posted this morning about how the rapture is probably right around the corner, and boy are those fancy scientists going to have a tough time explaining it away. But he'll be gone. If it did happen, my explanation would be simulation theory and how we finally got that big quality of life update they've been promising for a while now.


I read this as bullshit being fired from a canon. Thankfully I've had enough spare electricity to brew my coffee and I will go pour a cup now. Although I think I like the bullshit-canon-canon image quite a lot!


And isn't it Ironic, don't you think It's like getting gas resupplied today It's like getting free rides, but stockpiling things Chinese made. It's like bad advice, from crazy uncle Nate And who would have thought? It figures...




>*In the last year alone, the Qultists have had more failed end of the world predictions than the Jehovah's Witnesses.* u/ ThisIsMyRedditLogin This made me LOL, thank you :)


It’s tomorrow here in Europe. Our electricity is working so there’s a good chance you’ll wake up with electricity in the US too. I just had some toast. It seems the space lasers have spared us so far! Enjoy your toast! /s of course


Maybe it was the space lasers that toasted your bread?!!


Holy shit! This has Soros written all over it.


This is great news since you all live in the future!


I still can't figure out why they didn't warn us about 9/11.


Please send winning lotto numbers back to us in the past when you get a chance. Thank you.


Is it like today but faster in Europe?


Idk about you guys but it’s darkness all around where I’m at, I’m actually quite terrif- oh wait, whoops, just had my blinds closed.


I've just been arrested and imprisoned at the local FEMA internment camp (it's not visible on a map of Minneapolis because it's underground beneath the Hennepin Island Hydroelectric Plant). The furnishings of my cell are pretty nice (imagine that one level in Deus Ex: Human Revolution if anyone has played that). It's a shame my jailors are ruining the decor by getting my blood all over the walls everytime they come in to beat my kneecaps with rolled-up bundles of copper wire. Fortunately I hid my phone so I can relay a few last messages to the world before I'm put to death for not trusting the plan or voting for Trump. You guys really should have listened to Q. The feds are likely on their way to arrest all of you for being unwittingly complicit in aiding the cabal. It would seem I'm going to be executed by getting injected with a lethal amount of adrenochrome (as the vaccine I got contained some), so I hope some of you have built up a tolerance.


I'm in the UK, so I guess I've got a bit of time yet - the Feds will probably have to quarantine for 10 days before they can drag me off to some dank ~~meme~~ cell. Edit: Formatting ^fail


That dude's drum circle must be working.


I was thinking of him too 😆


Hey guys, my porch light went out last night, resorting to cannibalism.


Interesting. I don't think the gas crises helped. Or maybe it fed it!


It just poured gasoline on.... I mean... wait...


It sure did


This morning as I made tea, I looked out my kitchen window to see the cable repair man across the street at one of the junction boxes for the subdivision. He is likely just doing maintenance or checking an issue someone has, but I could not help but think that someone is out there someplace in that subdivision screaming "IT'S STARTING!!!!!"


Haha. So true. People will see what they want to see.


That's exactly what they want you to think ! Now they can play that 4d chess move!


They have been talking about this for ten years. Maybe the newer ones don’t know that.


They've been talking about for at least twenty. I got into conspiracies back in 2001 (slowly became uninterested over a few years and out totally around 2009), and this same shit has been going on since then, too. It’s incredibly maddening to see people fall for the same rehashed bullshit. Right down to Bill Gates and his chipped vaccines. I mean, my niece was born in 2005, and I remember not knowing how to tell my sister she shouldn’t get her vaccinated. *My* excuse was that the wide availability of the internet was very new to most people. When I first got my very own PC, I joined an XFiles chat room. I started using my browser to look up info on aliens and Bigfoot. I found a forum that went into that and tons of other cryptid stuff. But then I started seeing the hardcore, doomsday conspiracy shit on the same forum. *What? * The dollar is going to collapse? *Omg!* They're spraying chemtrails laced with something that will kill us all en masse?! *Holy shit!* Fluoride is making us dumber so we don’t realize what’s going on?! I thought I stumbled on something big and that the dissemination of the information was only made possible because the internet was becoming more and more available (I mean, you were lucky to even have a computer). That’s how I rationalized why no one ever talked about this stuff. At least there was a logical rationale there. But Qcumbers believe Donald Fucking Trump, of all people, is using coded language and secret messages to wake them up. That all this time we’ve had no clue whatsoever because literally everyone is in on it accept for people who implicitly support Trump, and he is working tirelessly and only became POTUS so he could wake us all up. JFC...I hate this Q shit so much.


Yep, I've been hearing this Days of Darkness conspiracy theory for many years online.


I dont know about yall but after surviving the days of no power or water during the Great Texas Snowpocolypse, im thinking ill be fine. 😂


The office printer at my job couldn’t connect to the network momentarily— does that count? Haha.


It has begun!


UPDATE: A lawnmower launched a rock through one of our windows— the end is in full swing, people!! (To clarify: I work for the government as, what would be called on Parks and Rec, a Punk-Ass Book Jockey)


PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean!?


I've got pizza, crisps, and soda. Bring on the show!


I've got canned goods for days and Roku! Bring on the Zombie Apocalypse!


& here I thought my birthday was going to get really interesting.


Happy Birthday!


It won’t be fun. They’ll just move the goalposts and pretend it was never supposed to be today. Or they’ll say that it’s happening and we just aren’t seeing it. Reality has no hold on those who are past a certain point.


Was kinda hoping I wouldn't have to go to work. Sad


Resident wild vulture flock still chilling like grandma on the front porch. Figure if something is up then they would be off in a hurry. They love my yard for some reason. Nothing to report from TN.


You have the most metal yard birds ever.


They are actually really fun to watch. They hop when they try to run and they play with my toddler's toys. They especially love his big bouncy ball.


Guarantee you have some neighbors that have wild conspiracies about you and the vulture house.


Yeah probably. Might think I am slaughtering something all the time.


Making waffles with fresh blueberries this morning. Cheers from a lit New Mexico. (Where ya don't need a passport and yes, we're part of the U.S.)


Ah, that's why the power is out and my neighbors are dressed like Mad Max. It all makes sense now! Thanks!


Did we win the underground war against the Chinese invasion from Canada or are the troops still fighting the good fight in the tunnels? Lost track of that one.


its dark outside


What nonsense theory is this? hadn’t heard this one now that my Q people are more or less out of my life


Planned power/internet/cell tower blackouts while Trump assumes his rightful throne and the military strategically rounds up the evil child-eating democratic cabal, as well as any celebrities that have made it onto their shit list. Afterward, should you see any of those celebs out living their lives, rest assured that they’re clones or body-doubles, because... idk plausible deniability or some such? Oh, and the film crews that have occupied the WH for months, to keep up the farce (Biden as POTUS, ofc) while they laid their plans, have all packed up and left. Damn, almost forgot, the whole financial system will be reset, so you’d better pull all your monies out of the bank, and invest in silver and crypto currencies, or whatever...


Someone posted yesterday that their ex-partner was headed to Mt. Shasta early this morning for 10 days of drumming. They had May 13 as the new reset date. I think they were intending for the drumming to heal the earth during the 10 days of darkness.


The 10 days of darkness ( which Q stole from Bladerunner ) is something the qult has been pushing for years now. During "the Storm" Trump is going to take control over all tele communication providers *globally* and have everyone locked inside their homes while he rounds up all the satanists. For a span of ten days there will be no telephone, internet, radio, television and/or electricity. The only thing broadcasted will be televised executions of cabal members and "documentaries" to educate the population on the nature of the satanist conspiracy. Also simultaniously Trump is going to invade and annex europe with the help of Putin, Xi and Un to be crowned god emperor of the new american empire some claim.


And we're supposed to watch these broadcasts how? Are they gonna turn the grid on real quick for every execution? I cannot believe how gullible and eager for murder these believers are.


If there is no power how can we watch the broadcast?


Still have power in North Carolina but no gas.


No no no... TOMORROW is the day of darkness.


Still here. Pretty sunny out for a day of darkness so far. I heard there is a chicken meat shortage but I think I can survive. Point of View: I think the Days of Darkness is the internal darkness Qult members will feel when they realize they've been fooled into an insane cult.


St. Louis, MO checking in. I can't decide if I'm having severe seasonal allergies, or somehow contracted a summer cold before summer. I've taken several decongestants and antihistamines, but all I hear is static. Hello? Bill, is that you? Please tell Melinda I can't come for tea today.


It's bloody dark here,...but then I'm in Australia and it's midnight..


Yeah TN isn't in full darkness yet. If it does I think im stocked for survival, ive got 12 dollars in cash and a half empty bag of pizza rolls in my freezer so I should be good.


Goddammit, if I have to eat all these cans of beans and drink bathtub water for no reason AGAIN I'm gonna be so mad. I demand to speak to the manager of the Storm.


Almost panicked but then realised I had my eyes closed.


I think that one poster who had a bf planning to go up to Mt. Shasta to drum circle energy and stop the darkness managed it. Thanks man. /s


PA checking in, power still up internet a little sluggish but nothing to bad. No helicopters above and the roads are pretty quiet. The tRumptards must all be hunkered in their basements. I'm thinking of heading over to my neighbors house, the one with the big tRump flag still up and pulling his electric meter... it would be the highlight of the year for him knowing the power is out right on schedule.


let me check... yup, light switches working in Chicago!


I'm in a sprint retrospective meeting at work. Truly this is the darkest timeline.




All hell broke loose today in CO. No power. No Internet. Mass arrests of powerful cabal members. All banks and ATMs nonfunctional. Military is in control. Armed vigilante groups roaming the streets and rounding up liberals. Child sex slaves freed from the dungeons under the capital building. I guess they are doing one state at a time.


Hmm... I wonder if this is why I received a troll text today from someone I suspect is into Q? Nothing about darkness, just the usual "you and your politicians demonize us/Trump" and something unintelligible about civil war.


Just went for a jog and am about to shower, nothing happened here so far, no storm on the horizon. Happy Fathers Day everyone.


PA is looking good.


So far so good. If things go away, I'll be right back here.


Good thing I just got a delivery from my local dispensary!


if i knew any q people i'd just ask how much money they wanna bet when they told me about these things, film them saying they will give it when they lose, etc.


Still here in San Diego, just looked at what my qcousin is looking at this morning on the X22 report. They are flipping things around again. I wish this BS would go away!


Same old neoliberal hellscape in Massachusetts. Plenty of electricity and internets to keep me working hard to make someone else rich on this beautiful spring day. I'm not salty, you're salty!


Far West Texas checking in, the microchips from my Pfizer vaccine are keeping the light in me alive so that’s nice. All good here!


I mean, I just did a Walmart run and filed my taxes. So things are good here in the northeast US!


I'm posting this,so I haven't run out of electrons,either...


Ah you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!


Damn, I was really hoping for a few days off work too!!




It depends. How much gasoline do you have in plastic bags in your trunk.


Today is the day everything went blank. Our power is out. Phone lines down. Internet offline. I can’t post on Reddit... oh snap, I guess I can.


As I was reading this, there was a knock at my door. The electric guy was replacing something in my outdoor meter and my electric would be off for 5 minutes. What timing! 🤣🤣🤣


When the darkness comes how does Bill Gates track and control everyone?


I’m here at work. Waiting on darkness because then I can go home.


No, you see, what they *really* meant was...


I just got hooked up to a dialysis machine a half hour ago. If the power goes out, RIP me.


Maybe we need to start a shared Google Calendar for these dates, I keep missing the alerts. ;P